


And I am left while the tears fall

by caimani



Series: Prompts for Werewolf TAI... [5]
Category: The Academy Is...
Genre: Angst, M/M, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caimani/pseuds/caimani
Summary: 19. TearsButcher tries to reach out to the former pack after the band breaks up.





	And I am left while the tears fall

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Gabriel!

“This is Sisky. Sorry, I’m busy. Can’t answer right now.” Beep.

Butcher swallows and curls up into a smaller ball on his couch. “Hey, Sisky,” he says. “I, uh. I know… things aren’t too good. But, um. I don’t know, I just wanted to check on you. I know… I know we’re all taking this hard. Just. Just call me when you have time, okay? I just want to--” He inhales and exhales shakily. “Call me, okay? Please.”

Butcher ends the call and puts his phone a few feet away from him on the other side of the couch. He stares at the dark screen for a long time, unmoving.

Finally, it lights up with a text notification and he jumps to check it. 

No... it’s not from Sisky. Butcher’s heart falls. He doesn’t check the text. He waits for two more hours. Several more people text him and some even try to call. None of them are Sisky. Butcher doesn’t answer any of them. 

Okay, it’s been long enough. Butcher opens his phone to text Sisky, but he stops when he sees his background picture. A picture of him and Sisky, squashed against each other on plane seats. Smiling because… because they were genuinely happy. Bill and Mike were just ahead of them, but Bill had to switch seats with Michael because Mike was annoying him. But even as they moved around, Butcher could feel how excited everyone was. They were happy. They were a band. A… a pack. Now, that moment feels like it was from another lifetime. 

Butcher leaves his phone on the couch and walks through his darkened living room to the kitchen. He eats something out of the refrigerator without bothering to heat it up. Then, he curls up under a blanket on the couch. He falls asleep still watching the phone screen, with a little bit of hope and a lot of loneliness.

The next morning, he texts Sisky before he can think better of it.

_I miss you_

He regrets it as soon as he sends it, but he still holds the phone close. Maybe Sisky will reply. He’s just been busy, and he forgot about the voicemail. He’s not exactly obligated to respond to anyone’s voicemails. He’s been taking time to put himself back together. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation. 

Butcher waits with bated breath.

A minute later, Sisky texts back.

_Me too._

Butcher holds his phone close against his chest and buries his face in his blanket. He doesn’t want to think about the dream he just had, but flashes of it come unbidden to his mind. All of them, together. All of them as wolves. Even Bill. All of them happy. 

It’s all gone so wrong. But Butcher can’t even ask himself how he got to this point, because he knows exactly how this all happened. He should have known it would lead to this.

Sisky sends another text.

_You want to meet up for the next moon?_

Butcher types out _Yes_ , but he hesitates on the send button. He wants to be with Sisky right now. He wants to chase down Bill and Mike and force them to realize what they’re doing. He wants…

He erases the _Yes_ and types out a different text.

_I don’t know. Can we talk?_

Sisky’s response is quick.

_Not right now. Sorry._

_Ok_

~~~~~

“You’ve reached the voicemail of… Mike Carden… At the tone, please record your message.”

Butcher starts, “Mike, I’m just--”

“Message box full.”

“...oh.” Butcher is still for a moment. He’s not exactly surprised. Considering how Mike was the last time Butcher saw him… Butcher gathers himself again and starts a text instead. 

_Hey. You wanna talk?_

He waits for a few minutes. When it becomes clear Mike’s not going to reply, Butcher occupies himself by cleaning up, playing some music, and going to the store to pick up food. He’s doing better at taking care of himself. He’s still miserably heartbroken and lonely, but he’s working on that. At least he can keep himself from falling apart in the aftermath of the breakup.

Mike answers six and a half hours later, in the middle of the night.

_No_

~~~~~

“Hi, this is Bill. Please leave a message.”

Butcher hangs up before he hears the damn tone. He’s really getting tired of this. He’s been trying to contact Bill for almost two weeks. Bill doesn’t answer. He doesn’t acknowledge any of Butcher’s voicemails or texts. Sisky says Bill’s not talking to him either.

_We’re more than a former band, Bill. We’re friends._

The next day, he sends another message.

_At least talk to Sisky. He’s worried._

~~~~~

Butcher meets up with Sisky two days before the full moon. It only took a few days of messages before Sisky talked him into a camping trip. Just the two of them in the middle of nowhere for three days.

When he shows up at Butcher’s place, Sisky is obviously glad to see him, but Butcher can sense his stress. He’s smiling, but he moves slowly. He hugs Butcher, and it’s easy to feel the tension in his body. Sisky hasn’t been sleeping or eating well. Before, the strain of the events leading up to the breakup was weighing heavily on him. Now, he’s being affected by the loneliness just like Butcher is. 

And Sisky’s probably very aware of it.

“I don’t want to talk about--you know,” Sisky says as they’re getting into Butcher’s car. “I just. I just wanna have these days with you. This full moon, just us as wolves. No talking about… that. Just us running around together in the woods.”

Butcher nods. It pains him to hold back everything he’s been wanting to say to Sisky--to any of them. He doesn’t say that he’s aching to talk with someone who understands. He doesn’t say that he can’t stop feeling like something’s been ripped out of his heart. The pack bond is shattered and it hurts so, so much. It hurts not seeing Sisky and Mike and Bill for so long. 

But he can’t say those things. Because he doesn’t want to chase Sisky away and lose this small thing that he still has.

“Okay,” he says, and starts the engine.

As they make the long drive to the campground, they pass the time listening to local country stations. They make easy conversation breaking apart the rhythm and the lyrics. Butcher tells Sisky about the camping gear he has, half of which they’ll probably not end up using. Sisky opens his backpack and shows Butcher all the snacks he’s brought, and they devour as much as they can. They lower the windows when they’re closer to the campground and try to identify all the scents they catch.

The campground is as remote as they hoped it would be. They pitch their tent, turn the opening away from the narrow dirt road, and fill the inside with sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets. Butcher locks the rest of their things in his car and hides the keys in the tent.

They don’t want to wait for night to fall. As they’re sitting in the tent after setting everything up, Sisky grabs Butcher’s hand and gives him a longing look.

“Before…” he whispers. “Before we shift, can…”

He leans hesitantly towards Butcher. Butcher wraps an arm around Sisky and draws him closer. He kisses Sisky gently at first, but Sisky leans on him with enough superhuman pressure to push him down. Sisky takes control, kissing Butcher with desperation. He tugs on Butcher’s clothes and Butcher struggles to strip them both without breaking the contact he and Sisky need so much.

Sisky doesn’t say anything else, just whines and kisses Butcher and holds him with hands that slowly shift into paws and claws. Butcher shifts faster and stays on his back, watching Sisky’s body reshape itself and grow sharp claws, blond fur, and a thick tail. It’s every bit as mesmerizing as the first time Butcher saw it, but now he drinks in every image.

He doesn’t want to forget this.

He doesn’t want to lose this.

Sisky’s kisses turn into licks. Butcher licks him back, gentle and loving. Sisky bumps his face against Butcher’s. Butcher rolls over and stands up. He rubs his face against Sisky’s neck. 

Then he rushes out into the forest, lit by the late afternoon sunshine. Sisky is right behind him, following the path that Butcher takes between trees and underbrush. Together, they run into the wilderness that calls to the wolves and lets them forget.


End file.
